Welcome

Hi. My name is Sarah and I am a soul cyster. I was diagnosed about 7 years ago with PCOD/S and since then I have struggled with it. I went through about 5 doctors until I finally found one willing to work with me with my disease instead of telling me what to do, when I had already done it. I have tried several types of birth control pills to regulate my cycle as well as hormone replacement therapy, weight loss, metformin and other such things. My last straw was last summer when the pain in my pelvic region had become so immense that monthly I was having cyst rupture on my ovaries leaving me in horendous (SP) pain. I was averaging 2-3 doctor visits a month and chronically taking narcotics. It had to stop. So in December of 2009 I had a billateral ovarian wedge resection. That is a fancy way to say that the doctor cut out a slice of each of my ovaries creating a "window" hoping to jump start my hormones. For the first few weeks I was just in pain from recovering from the surgery and when my periods finally started again......so did the pain. I was depressed to think that I may have to live with the pain of this forever. Then in April of 2010 I got pregnant. I was terrified and excited and didnt really know what to do. So I made a doctors apt and had my prenatal blood work drawn. I was 5 weeks when I found out I was pregnant. At week 8 they put me on progesterone. At 10 weeks when I went in for my ultrasound the doctor informed me that there was no heartbeat... no baby. I was shattered. My world was falling down around me and I didnt know where to turn. That weekend I pondered over what could have happened. Was it something that I had done or not done? What happened!? I didnt understand. Dont understand. Later that week, early Thursday morning I began cramping and bleeding and passing larger clots. I was horrified. I called the doctors office who informed me that I needed to go straight to the ER in case I bled out. I decided witht he pain I was more comfortable in the saftey of my bed than in a cold hospital. Early Friday morning I went in for a second ultrasound and a D&C. When I woke up from surgery all I could think was that it was all over. :-( I was a childless mother. The funny thing was that during the two short months that I was with child I was almost pain free. The first period I had after the misscarriage was light and mild with pain. Then my second period happened. It has only been two months since this tragedy and this period I think was the worst of my life. I was doubled over in pain several days even though I wasnt bleeding heavy. I am not sure what physically happened all I know is that I am not ready for the pain to begin again. There are no local support groups and I found it easier to blog about my pregnancy loss online anyways. So for those of you out there with a similiar story, please feel free to share and ask questions. I am at a loss for what to do next. And as always my prayers are with all those who suffer along side me.


-Sarah-